daulmonster

I liked Kim Daul since stumbling upon her blog sometime in 2007 - she seemed so edgy and self-assured at only 18. No other model came close to her intelligence and imagination. I thought it was a hoax when she died last year on the day of my statistics exam; it didn't seem natural. Part of me is still convinced that she is actually still alive and simply hiding on a secluded Caribbean island to let her creative energy flow in private. I'm glad they re-opened her blog.

- illustration by Andrea Marshall

contemplation

Medicine is so serious. In my art history class, all the aspiring art history majors, of whom I am very spiteful of, pretend to be serious, but really, how could they be? Nothing is detrimental to a goal like their's, nothing except an innate insensibility to the humanities. In which case, no amount of seriousness is going to save you. Medicine on the other hand is built on seriousness. Each step towards it is like a systematic process of elimination. Everything is detrimental. Preparing for the pre-med exam is making me realise how incompatible I am with the system. I am not a serious person. 

-Ryan McGinley

disconcerting

Why does all of my sleep-clothes smell musky? It is so difficult to tell whether a stained, pilled old t-shirt is clean or not without the advantage of smell. I should really just toss them all into the washing machine so that I don't get scabies from wearing dirty laundry. I did get scabies once in grade 5 though (not from dirty laundry, I hope). It was the second most embarrassing diagnosis I've received from a doctor.

days of summer

I will try to do this chronologically but it has been three months since I first had these developed so the events present themselves as 'very hazy'. At the time we were in the middle of moving and without internet connection, so I had no way of blogging about anything. And then I was in China, and you know the deal there. But at long last I can post the final dregs of my summer photos and tick that off my to-do list. 

They continue from a roll I took at my friend's beach house. 

It was something of a photography camp, I've managed to lead most of my friends onto the righteous path of analogue. 

We drank milkshakes on a hot day, and I felt generally very Californian. 

This birdie was photographed about 100 times. 

We found a new dumpling place that didn't have a greasy residue on every surface. 

Anni is so sweet and so is her home. Everything is well compartmentalised and just quaint enough without being pretentious. Her backyard reminds me of Japan in that it is compact and functional, without compromising aesthetics nor ambience. 

For dinner we made sweet potato gnocchi and salad with vegetables from her garden. We also made bread and butter pudding, a first for me as I am not so big on British food unlike a surprising number of my friends, and I am sorry to say that I was not a fan.  

I don't remember this occasion.... 

This was the window display of a toy store on Brunswick St. It was a game: there was a list of different toys which you were asked to find in the display. Michelle and I were in the middle of finding the giraffe when the store owner came out to close for the day. If memory serves me right he had his son with him and they were getting their bikes ready. I remember them as being sweet but I can't recall why. 

On one Saturday in early December we moved out of our old house. This was the last photo that I took of my bedroom. Currently we are living at a friend's house as we wait for our settlement date.

A few days later it was my birthday. I distinctly recall complaining to my mum about the fact that I am spending my first day as a 19 year old sharing a room with my parents. To make myself feel better I had a picnic with friends at the botanical gardens, and although I look really disgruntled in the above picture, I was actually really happy and thought the wrapping paper on that particular present was really neat. I baked macarons, scones and red-velvet cupcakes, which were really neat too.




Jayne bought me a new red lipstick, and oh look, I got my braces off! On the day of my birthday in fact.

It was something like 40 degrees celsius that day and we eventually started playing with ice from the esky.

Aurora's dress was so pretty.


On Christmas Eve I hung out with my friend Yue who was home from Oxford. Her neighbours had a monstrous cactus plant that had flowered.

We baked, I quote the recipe here, a "yellow cake". Essentially a butter cake with only egg yolks. I hate separating eggs since the unused half is sometimes wasted, so we made some meringue cookies too. Then we arranged all the food around the couch and watched Paranormal Activity. It was disappointing after all the hype I had built around it. 


After Christmas, I had another bake day with Maddy. We had seen this recipe on a blog and I think it was originally from Martha Stewart. Something like 2kg of cream cheese was used in this...

The film I used was shitty but that's actually an Oreo you see there. We made Oreo cupcheesecakes! We'd been itching to trial them for months but I think in the end it was a case of "too much of a good thing". 

And then it was New Year's Eve! I never give up on taking photos of fireworks on film but each time they turn out like this.

Even a double exposure can't salvage them.

There was a thunderstorm that night and lightning was streaking through the sky horizontally, if you can imagine.

We were all drenched.

But still pretty excited! The lit up billboard in the back was an ad for Avatar by the way.

I had breakfast with Jayne one last time before I went away. 

Her YSL ring is beeaaauuutiful. So was the grilled mushroom I ate.

Speaking of one last times, my Korean student went back to Korea. I took her on a picnic, in fact at the exact same spot that I'd spent my birthday, and we shared a punnet of strawberries and macarons. I can't remember what we talked about, she is so quiet so we probably didn't talk about much. I hope she comes back one day, or maybe I can go visit.  

I told her to take the last shot in the roll. 

end of hiatus

Every year, since I was about seven, I disappear during the summer for a period not exceeding two months.  Unlike normal holidays, there is no build up to this event, since every year, I go to the same place, stay with the same people and do more or less the same things. When I return, I generally have a new haircut, new clothes, and a short-lived interest in Asian pop culture. People who I would nominate as my best friend, 2nd best friend, and so forth to about the 5th best friend are accustomed to this and (I hope) do not expect souvenirs because it's not as though I really went on a holiday; rather, I simply went missing.  

China, is in part, responsible for such a thorough disappearing act. Especially since she has now conveniently blocked Facebook, Blogger and various-other-websites. I cannot be bothered finding illegal methods of getting around these inconveniences, so instead I cut off communication with my friends altogether.

In some ways my isolation from the rest of the world during the past two months gave me a lot of time to think. Or not think. I am not sure which. Either way, assimilating to the Chinese youth made me feel very different, and worry about things which I usually wouldn't. Having a foreign set of worries is a very eye-widening experience - like suddenly realising that you are at a life-altering disadvantage for not having had worried about those things before. Maybe I should change 'worry' to 'priority', they are somewhat symbiotic, to a pessimist like me at least. 

In the photo below, my priority was taking as many photos as possible. We were in Suzhou ("Venice of the East") because I'd never been and my cousin couldn't let go of her ex-boyfriend who now went to art school there. We were all hung over from drinking too much fake whiskey with these boys who were friends of her ex, but I insisted we needed to go take some touristy photos to make the trip seem more worthwhile to my parents. My cousin felt too disheveled to be photographed so the photo is of me and a new friend who made me laugh a lot. I know I sound rather bitter, but regardless, I was really happy, and Suzhou is actually really beautiful. 

holiday gift guide

Isn't the concept of birthday presents strange? It's like receiving congratulations for not only existing, but existing for yet another year. If anything, parents should be the ones who are congratulated, at least until the child is old enough to be responsible for their own existence and well-being. 

Another musing on present-receiving in general: have you ever contemplated over what you've received and thought about what the assorted miscellany says about you? Or at least what it says about how others perceive you as? My portrait would be painted by dessert cookbooks, jewelry, red lipstick, sketchbooks, tea cups, ironic t-shirts, hand-made cards and IOU's. For this year at least. It makes me uneasy to see myself in this way (in a completely predictable and logical way characterised by objects). At the same time it is also nice to gloat over all the nice new things I've accumulated simply for still being alive. 

i feel old but not very wise

Today I am 19! I have had a year now to do grown up things. 

barbie

Make-up for me is like a grown up way of enjoying colouring in. Any girl who poured over colouring books as a child surely must contest that the nail polish counter is the best part of any department store (kitchen appliances comes a close second). 

 You may have also noticed that my walls are now blank. After eight years of enjoying the view of our neighbours' backyards from my bedroom window, I am finally moving. As for where I am moving to, I am not sure yet...

ah...the serenity

I am quite resolute in thinking that I am a city gal. I like the sense of purpose I get from waking up to the sound of morning traffic, and then being caught on the trains during rush hour. It cannot be denied that I am most comfortable when I am feeling "alone in a crowd'. Unusual, perhaps, since that phrase tends to give negative connotations, yet, I cannot describe my favourite setting any more aptly.

Once in a while though, granted there is good food and wine (in gratuitous amounts if you please) and a comfortable bed, I do enjoy a more remote get away, somewhere to do nothing but sit on the deck sipping tea and G&T's during the day and play cards during the evening.

movies i can't resist watching whenever they're on tv

- Titanic

- Bring it On

- About a Boy

- Harry Potter (any of them)

(Tonight I watched Titanic again on our tiny old TV while sitting on a kitchen chair because we're half way through moving. Two comments: 1) it was worth it, 2) I still think Rose was being a fat bitch for not insisting on sharing the door/raft)

john and yoko

the burden of freedom

These photos are from a week ago when I first relished in my summer freedom. Maddy had a picnic which transferred into the living room due to poor weather, and later we had gourmet pizzas for dinner while watching Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. We weren't in the mood for concentrating, so the movie was too confusing for me to follow. I think I will give it another try though because a few days later at Anni's beach house I found the book on their shelf and read the first few pages. Anni said she doesn't know how the book got there, so I see it as a sign. I like to follow signs where possible.

Eric and I took photos of each other taking photos. A few days later I took a similar photo with David. It seems as though all my friends have taken up photography, which is quite exciting actually. This summer will be carefully documented. 

I am thinking of teaching myself Swedish to fill in the gaps of boredom between work and picnics.