they think we're disposable, well both my thumbs are opposable

A few Saturdays ago I woke up at noon and felt inundated with gloom. There was no one home, I had missed out on my hair appointment, and I had stood up my friend for our morning walk in the park. On top of that, I was meeting Gabby at the library in an hour's time and I was going to have to train there by myself.

Sulking and brooding, I made my way into the city and on the spur of the moment, I went into the Safeway outside the Melbourne Central train station and bought myself a disposable camera. Somehow I thought it would make me feel better. Gabby said I would be disappointed by the results. She likes to put a dappener on things.


As it turned out, my badluck continued that day. The library was packed, so we headed to Starbucks to use their powerpoints and comfy couches.


I inevitably had to buy a drink. My first Starbucks drink in a veerrry long time.


Why do I always make stupid faces in photos.....




My 'working hard' face.


Gabby's 'no photos' face (or lack of face).



We got bored of pretending to work pretty quickly, so off we went to wander the city and do something much needed window shopping.


I wanted to show her the black leafy necklace I had bought on sale, so we had to go into the most claustrophobic shiny and pink jewellery store. She doesn't look impressed. I like the "nothing over $5" sign in the background.


Babushka doll shop!


I think this might be the next day. Once again coming out of Melbourne Central, heading for the library.


After waiting outside the library for a good 20minutes, Jayne sheepishly turned up.


I love not learning from mistakes. The library was packed again because we had arrived 45minutes after it opened. So Starbucks it was then.


After minimal studying, we were off again. I don't remember how we ended up in the craft store.


I found these felt flowers. Decided to buy one to make a hairclip. Also found some feathers to go with it. I'll have to post a picture of the hairclip sometime. I'm fairly proud of this little DIY project.


We then decided it was time for pho. Every now and again, I get the most intense pho cravings, it's crazy.


Weeeeeeeeeeeeee! YES.


Satisfaction. I got a medium and Jayne got a small. I felt like a fatty, but at least a happy one.


I then I had a slice of mango cake aswell. I was greedy and tired from eating so much. Jayne took this.


This is a Japanese doll thing I made years and yeeaarrrss ago. It's been hanging there since. I think my friend who helped me make it had said that it was meant to bring good weather(?)


Tuesday I went out to the library again to finally get some work done. It worked this time! Probably because I was by myself. I wanted to get this roll of film developed, so on my lunch break I took a trip to the photolab and snapped the last few frames. This is a generic urban laneway.




Outside the photolab I took the final frame.

I think I went for pho by myself after that. Jayne decided she wanted to hang out later that afternoon, so we had sushi and mango cake again. Disgusting combination, I know. Oh well, I get hungry when I'm studying. Though studying rarely happens...

I think I will finish reading "A Streetcar Named Desire" now. Right after I get some tea and biscuits...

heavy

Lately, I feel overwhelmed and despondant everyday, which surprises me, because I don't consider myself to be under that much pressure. I've always been the laid back one, but I find that I am getting more and more apprehensive about everything. I guess this has been happening since I was little; sometimes I just think too hard and too much that my anxieties become surreal and un-tameable, so I would cry or go to sleep. It's always worse when I'm by myself, because although I enjoy the solitude, I need distractions to keep me sane.

Most of the time, I wish childhood lasted longer, or adolescence was more like childhood. I still think that life should be about being happy, but I know that is naive.

"You shall above all things be glad and young"

....so says Cummings, but I find that his is being naive aswell.

frosty

Snow people:


big ones


happy ones


melting ones


boy ones


girls ones

l'hiver

It gets dark so early these days, which only further discourages me from doing anything productive. Although my exams are over and a large part of my internal assessment is complete, I don't feel a sense of accomplishment nor relief. I am still very much behind in a lot of things, but the weather makes me want to laze around and huddle aimlessly. I do like winter, but the Australian winter doesn't quite get cold enough, and instead just gets rainy.

I was feeling nostalgic for the proper winter I had in China earlier this year, so here goes an overdue photo spam of things I miss.


I think this was the second day of my trip and my cousin took me to a new restaurant.


Each customer gets a little pot of stock over a tiny stove and you get to choose what you put in it and what dipping sauces you want. Incredibly satisfying in winter.


I don't know why anyone would want so many mirrors in a bathroom.


Rehearsals before a concert she had.


Afterwards at a cafe.




It was a buffet cafe. You paid $20 and ordered as much as you want and could stay for the entire afternoon. We need one of these in Melbourne. I don't think my friends and I would go anywhere else.


This was her boyfriend, but they've broken up now, which just goes to show how outdated these photos are =P






This little bike/scooter thing really got around. I miss riding it. It looks so ridiculous but it actually gets pretty fast.


Travelling on the greyhound bus from Shanghai to Nantong.


My cousin's friend who owned a shop. She was the most interesting and free-spirited character I've ever met in China.


There were quite a few odd-looking hats.


Unfortunately this one wasn't for sale.


But we made the most of trying it on, none-the-less.




I think he wagged school everyday in the month that I was there...so did my cousin I guess, but her school is arty. They probably don't believe in attendance tracking.


I don't know if you'd ever seen one of these, but it's like an adult-sized tricycle. There's usually a sort of wheel barrow between the back two wheels so that it looks a bit like a hybrid between a bike and a ute. There's sometimes a carriage at the back instead, and you can ride in it like you would in a taxi.




We travelled around in one of these a few times, but I always feel bad for the man cycling me and my cousin around, even if we are paying him.


More food. This is all we did really; eat.


And travel between different eating destinations I suppose.




We ate at McDonald's way too much. And always, we'd over order.




This was a little place behind his high school which only sold this type of fried tofu. I remember I remember I loved eating this when I was in kinder.


Oh, I forgot, we also went to the hairdresser a little too frequently. He had a nap each time we went.


That's my favourite hairdresser ever. He's an aspiring photographer and stylist, so we like to talk about fashion and cameras. He also gives us 60% discounts <3


Mirror shots! We all look funny in our puffy jackets, but it was seriously getting cold.


Walks along the riverside.


Funny kid.


Eating again, this time at my great aunt's.


And then one day, we woke up, and it was snowing :)


Ah! See that carriage thing on the right? That's the tricycle taxi I was trying to explain before.


THIS is winter. Melbourne sucks.


People look prettier in the snow, I think.







Ahh.....this was a bad idea. I feel even less in the mood for working now.

b-r-e-a-t-h-e

I am learning how to breathe again. The past week has been spent in limbo; never quite awake, yet never quite asleep. Such are exam periods I guess...one is both relieved and confused at the end of it.

Though I am definitely not happy. I *was* happy, for about 3 hours, but I am back to being a realist. Growing up forces little children to become pragmatic and somewhat pessimistic. I still have major assignments and essays due in the coming weeks, and I can't have fun knowing that the worst is barely over.

I've been rewarding myself with some much needed retail therapy though. I hadn't been anywhere other than school and home for way too long, so yesterday I went to the city to just buy things(I am definitely a product of this materialistic world). I went to a magazine shop which I used to visit a lot. My friend's brother works there, so I noticed him as soon as I went in. Then I noticed someone behind the counter waving to me. And it was my friend herself! She had a new haircut, so I didn't even recognise her. I asked her how things were going, and she told me she was making video installations at uni and working part time at the magazine shop. She seemed to be thoroughly enjoying life, and I felt very jealous. I think this is what I'm working towards: a uni course which will make me happy, a fun job and good hair. No asking for that much, really, am I?

I've already worked on the hair part. I was getting sick of my bob, and missing the asymmetrical cut I had last year. So chop chop:

It's winter and everyday is the same shade of grey, but a new hairstyle will hopefully cheer me up a little. On the way out this morning, I bought a disposable camera at the supermarket because I left my real one at home. It was an overcast day, perfect for taking photos, so I needed to have a camera. I have about 12 shots left on it. Tomorrow I'll finish off the roll and get them developed. I think I love film. Not just because of the final aesthetical qualities, but also because of the anticipation and suspense.

*_*

Yomuchacha has a new header and name!









...this is precisely why I get no studying done and why I will fail Friday's English oral. I want a new head complete with new work ethics.