mardi 17 juin 2008

heavy



Lately, I feel overwhelmed and despondant everyday, which surprises me, because I don't consider myself to be under that much pressure. I've always been the laid back one, but I find that I am getting more and more apprehensive about everything. I guess this has been happening since I was little; sometimes I just think too hard and too much that my anxieties become surreal and un-tameable, so I would cry or go to sleep. It's always worse when I'm by myself, because although I enjoy the solitude, I need distractions to keep me sane.

Most of the time, I wish childhood lasted longer, or adolescence was more like childhood. I still think that life should be about being happy, but I know that is naive.

"You shall above all things be glad and young"

....so says Cummings, but I find that his is being naive aswell.



4 commentaires:

la petite rêveuse a dit…

ditto. we are horrible company for each other. I dont want to be at school tomorrow, or the day after that, or the one after that.
It's only Tuesday? HOW?!

nonpareil a dit…

i understand your exasperation darling! we should run away...

i hate that my meager, although in the hundreds, savings are not enough to get me out of the country. i hate australia's isolation. if i was in london, a few hundred pounds would get me to more than one other country if i travel by eurostar. i want that type of freedom. i don't want to run away forever or anything, but i just want to runaway for a day. =(

if we were friends and we lived in london, i would definitely wag school one day and go to paris with you. we wouldn't have much money, but enough to get crepes for lunch and a metro ticket.

Revilo a dit…

"I need distractions to keep me sane."

Now that's something I agree whole-heartedly with. Too much thinking is bad for the brain. Hence why children chatter so much, the more they talk the less they engage the brain, hence the brain develops in a different fashion to if it was actually working when young.

I still consider myself in the residues of childhood, and god am I enjoying it while it lasts.

Desolation of the mind is not very becoming. Pity it's becoming more and more common.

Yarshk a dit…

hmmm, anxieties would make a nice name for a chewy type of confectionery.

If life isn't about being happy, i think would of lost all hope in humanity.