It's not about chicken or fish.
It's not about how big your house is.
It's not about getting A+.
It's not about a D cup.
It's not about his green eyes.
It's not about her long hair.
It's not about expensive shoes.
It's not about using big words.
It's not about spilt milk.
It's not about tomorrow.
It's not about what you have.
It's not about what you want.
It's not about your Enter score.
It's not about your salary.
It's not about your taste in music.
It's not about winning.
It's not about your limits.
It's not about somebody somewhere.
It's not about relationships.
It's not about love.
It's not about enemies.
It's not about the glass being half full.
It's not about the glass being half empty.
It's not about Genesis.
It's not about Armageddon.
It's not about the outside.
It's not about the inside.
It's not about the introspective.
It's not about the extrospective.
It's not about the retrospective.
It's not about the prospective.
It's not about who you were.
It's not about who you are.
It's not about who you'll be.
It's not about you.
It's not about me.



I don't know what it's about then. I feel like I can't take anything seriously anymore. I find it hard to care. That's probably not a good thing. I know I'm unhappy but I don't know why and I don't know how to fix it or even if I want to or can fix it. I say I so much but apparently it's not about me.







- Sunni emo

Antiques Roadshow. If you haven't seen it, you haven't started appreciating human potential. Seriously, how do those antique experts know so much? It simply boggles the mind, they are amazing. I might be biased though, I'm slightly addicted. Got addicted during exam time in those empty afternoons meant for cramming (I prefer to cram at night). Today there was this amazing collector's item: a mechanical swan clock. It was beautiful, I am currently lusting over it. One day I will have my own collection of unique antiques.

So, my random new phase aside, exams are over! Yay! I'd be a bit more enthusiastic if I hadn't failed maths and chemistry. But I'm not really crying over that either since I have my extended essay and world lit essay to begin with. *profound sigh* And it's really hot too. I have this analogy for my body in this heat. I am like roasted meat; after being baked in the Australian sun on high heat, I have to let my flesh rest in the shade for at least 5 minutes so that my juices(read: body fluids) can settle before I do anything else. Some say this is a pretty gross comparison.

Anyway, I bet you are all dying to know what I have done to celebrate end of exams. No you probably aren't. Well, I haven't really done anything anyway. Sometimes my friends and I do wonder if we should be more like ordinary teenagers and get wasted at parties, but instead we think more about nerdy things like working on our extended essays. Today was meant to be a holiday, but we went to our school physics lab anyway to help Bernie with the practical component of her physics extended essay.


As you can see, serious business going on here. A lot of technical equipment plus some food articles like honey and soft drink and also a few wine glasses and a violin bow. "What the?" I hear you say. Well, Bernie is investigating sound waves. Something about how the frequency changes depending on the density or temperature of the liquid it travels through. I'm sure there is some point to it but I never actually asked...


We had to do that thing which Sandra Bullock does in Miss Congeniality. The vibrations from the glass were rather hypnotic, the whole time it was like we were in a movie about UFOs and cornfields.


A lot of difficult calculating. *wink*


hmhm


We used my honey for the 'denser liquid'.


Cleaning up was a sticky job.


And then we found these lights which look like duck eggs.


I came up with a geeenius idea: draw a dot on the lights and you've got yourself a pair of Simpsons eyes!


Bernie thought it was pretty funny ---- until I realised the dots wouldn't wash off. I think the lights were important and new. Bernie is worried because it's her who does physics and she's the one who booked the lab...


But, all in a days work. We had burgers afterwards and talked about what kind of person eachother would marry when we grew up.

haha, what a girly thing to talk about. I decided Bernie was going to marry a dorky Jewish boy who worked for MSF(medicins sans frontier). I think that would be cute :)

Tomorrow is back to school. Will be getting exam marks back. Oww shit, wish me luck.

-Sunni

I get so used to things. I get so used to being 16 and can't believe that, not even long ago, I was 15. Change is something unfathomable; I can't believe it'll happen or that I'd ever accept it until it comes. I shouldn't take things for granted, but so often I do the opposite and anticipate a big turning point but am disappointed because it doesn't seem to come. The truth is, I WILL be 17 in a little over a month from now, but that doesn't mean an epiphany will fall out of the sky(as much as I would like one to). Things are changing around me all the time, but I seem to stay the same. I'll start saying "I'm 17" but it means the same as "I'm 16". I waste my life over thinking things and get no where. Come to me in a year's time and I'd probably be dishing out these same shitty thoughts.













I don't even know what I'm talking about. Don't listen to me, I'd probably just infect your brains.

- Sunni (stressing out)

I feel sorry for my computer. Really, I do. It used to just purrr, but now it sounds like it is wheezing. Everyone I meet asks me "What is that dreadful sound?" and every time I can only indignantly retort "It's my laptop. Do not judge us!" and that is why I have no friends and my computer is a piece of shit. When I grow up, I want to be a desktop computer with nice big monitor owner. I think the way I arranged that sentence makes it ambiguous, and implies that I want to be a piece of technology when I grow up.

I am stressed. But that doesn't make me want to subdue the stress by working, rather, it makes me want to do something unstressful which results in me being more stressed than before. My life is like picking your nose. The more you want to get that booger out the harder you'll dig your finger into your nostril and the deeper you'll push the wretched thing into your nose, making it even harder to pick out than before. Damn, I can't even make tasteful analogies which relate to my situation anymore. The other day I realised I'm pretty good at rhyming. It made me happy. Why the fuck? Unless I want to be a rapper when I grow up, being able to rhyme will give me no benefit. Stop being so damn happy or so damn sad for no reason Sunni! I should learn to be more apathetic, not everything has to conjure a certain emotion.

Tell me a tragic and sickening story about what happened to a girl who didn't ever do any work. I need to get scared so that I get motivated. Positive reinforcement does not work for me anymore. I need negative reinforcement. Telling me I'll be a doctor if I work hard is a load of shit(or booga, whatever tickles your fancy), what I need to hear is "Sunni, if you don't work hard, you will be one of those fat women with a lot of babies in strollers and dandruff in your badly cut hair. Or worse, you'll be one of those great people who have great dreams and visions but will never be able to make them come true because it's too darn late."

Regret is what I'm scared of I think.




- Sunni

What worries me the most is that I am supposedly 50% like Hitler and Charles Manson. Delightful.

What Pseudo Historical Figure Best Suits You? created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Friedrich Nietzsche Well you're an egotistical maniac, and you are so very iconoclastic that you probably are currently lost in a post-modern Jupiter, I mean jungle of self-definition. Don't let it get you down though, someday, through a willful onslaught of reinterpretation of dated forms and ideas, you will strike on something that passes as remotely new, and people WILL be into it on the basis of how hip it is alone. Also, the average espresso drinker looks up to you. Friedrich Nietzsche 83% Dante Alighieri 67% Steven Morrissey 67% C.G. Jung 67% Stephen Hawking 58% Adolf Hitler 50% Charles Manson 50% Jesus Christ 42% Sigmund Freud 33% Mother Teresa 33% O.J. Simpson 33% Miyamoto Musashi 25% Hugh Hefner 8% Elvis Presley 0%

Right now I should be doing some sort of studying as I have exams this time next week. But all I can think about it is the small hairy guinea-pig that seems to have fixated itself onto Nietzsche's top lip. It is distracting me. As is the yearning for eating tinned apricots with yogurt while watching 2046. The amount of homework/assignments which I have to complete so that I have some kind of mark on my report is also stopping me from burrowing into my psychology book. And to top it all off I just wasted an hour on cutting my mum's 45 year old balding business partner's hair. Mum said I was good. The poor man was under the delusion that I knew what I was doing. I didn't want to make him uglier so I did my best and took my time. Now I have wasted about 2 hours of my life in the past two days cutting hair (I cut my cousin's hair yesterday and I'm pretty proud to be honest so I think I'll post a picture of my handiwork once he's having a good day and not looking stoned).

My maths tutor will arrive in 30 minutes so now I'd better do some revision before he arrives so that I have some questions to ask him. Afterall, parents aren't paying $890542 an hour for him to have afternoon tea with me.

Speaking of which, think I'll make myself some tea now.

Tata dears!

-Sunni