I feel sorry for my computer. Really, I do. It used to just purrr, but now it sounds like it is wheezing. Everyone I meet asks me "What is that dreadful sound?" and every time I can only indignantly retort "It's my laptop. Do not judge us!" and that is why I have no friends and my computer is a piece of shit. When I grow up, I want to be a desktop computer with nice big monitor owner. I think the way I arranged that sentence makes it ambiguous, and implies that I want to be a piece of technology when I grow up.

I am stressed. But that doesn't make me want to subdue the stress by working, rather, it makes me want to do something unstressful which results in me being more stressed than before. My life is like picking your nose. The more you want to get that booger out the harder you'll dig your finger into your nostril and the deeper you'll push the wretched thing into your nose, making it even harder to pick out than before. Damn, I can't even make tasteful analogies which relate to my situation anymore. The other day I realised I'm pretty good at rhyming. It made me happy. Why the fuck? Unless I want to be a rapper when I grow up, being able to rhyme will give me no benefit. Stop being so damn happy or so damn sad for no reason Sunni! I should learn to be more apathetic, not everything has to conjure a certain emotion.

Tell me a tragic and sickening story about what happened to a girl who didn't ever do any work. I need to get scared so that I get motivated. Positive reinforcement does not work for me anymore. I need negative reinforcement. Telling me I'll be a doctor if I work hard is a load of shit(or booga, whatever tickles your fancy), what I need to hear is "Sunni, if you don't work hard, you will be one of those fat women with a lot of babies in strollers and dandruff in your badly cut hair. Or worse, you'll be one of those great people who have great dreams and visions but will never be able to make them come true because it's too darn late."

Regret is what I'm scared of I think.




- Sunni